Owned

Even with the loss today, the Mets take 3 of 4 from the D'backs this weekend. Pelfrey got another start and was just so so. He may get one more chance at sticking around but Rick "The Magician" Peterson has to get Pelfrey's head right. If he struggles in another start, look for Jorge "Don't Call Me Sammy" Sosa to take his place while Pelfrey works his troubles out in New Orleans.

Notes from the D'backs series

GOOD:

John Maine. Another dominant performance. Improved to 5-0 this year and his ERA is smaller than Roger Clemens' steroid reduced nut-sac. (More on him in a moment.)

Shawn Green. I was VERY down on him to start the year even before he hit .088 in spring. But, so far, I have been wrr....wrr.....wrong. (excuse me for a minute as I jab toothpicks in my eyes...). He has come up with clutch hit after clutch hit. His 40+ homer a year power is gone, but he looks like he's on his way to being a John Olerud type hitter. Nothing wrong with .320/18/84 with 38-45 doubles.

Julio Franco's HR off of Randy Johnson. I know Randy isn't the pitcher he was 5 years ago, but he still throws 92-95 mph. Even though Franco started his swing late Thursday night, he still got around on Johnson's pitch to put in the swimming pool in right center on Friday night.

The rally against Valverde was awsome. Let me put this to the Valverde's, C. C. Sabathia's, and Dontrelle Willis' of the world. If you wear your hat crooked because your "special", (and by "special" I mean, someone has to cut your meat for you "special") then my apologies. But if you are wearing your hat crooked because you thinks it looks cool, IT'S NOT!!! OK??? IT LOOKS ABSOLUTELY $*#&$)@ RIDICULOUS AND YOU DESERVE TO GET BOMBED!!! FIX YOUR $*%$(#% HAT YOU IDIOTS!!!! Don't get me started on the jack-asses that won't bend the bill of their hat........(Cordero, I'm talking to you!)

The BAD

After a small warm up, David Wright is back in the .240's with his batting avg. and is now popping everything up. I'm officially concerned.

**Note to Omar Minaya** Please stop having Wright go to every ribbon cutting, baby kissing, hand-shaking, autograph signing, Wal-Mart Super Center opening on the face of the planet. Please. Let the young man get some rest. Get his head right, recharge his batteries, and think about baseball for awhile. The babie's will be kissed by SOMEONE, the ribbons will still be cut (think AROD for this job) and Wal-Mart's will still open thier stupid Super Centers without him. (Trust me on the Wal-Mart one.)

Mike Pelfrey. Ron Darling said it best tonight during today's telecast. "He looks like a deer caught in headlights out there." He completely loses his mind when runner's get on base. How are opposing teams not sending their leadoff man up there without every intention of diving in front of every pitch he throws up there, just to get a man on base? His eyes cross, pee's his pants (not a word about this Marty, you hear??), and starts slobbering before the guy he walked even gets to first base.

Ok. I normally wait for the season to end before handing out any awards. Wait, that's not truthful. I've never once handed out any awards to any player for anything. Until today that is. May I introduce to you, the 1st ever "The Lone Met Fan Presents.." award. Now this award is special. It takes an even more special person to recieve this award, let alone be nominated. Enough of the buildup, let's get on with it.

*************************The "I wouldn't Piss on Him if He Was on Fire Award*************

The winner is..................

ROGER "MOTHER-$&@#&#!" CLEMENS!!!

Seriously, is there a bigger jack-off than this guy? He retires at the end of every year, tells everyone he's done, has GOING AWAY PARTY'S for Pete's sake, and hold's 3 to 4 teams hostage with his decision every fall/spring until he decides he's taken enough steroids, HGH, greenies, andro, and God knows whatever other "herbal tea" to make sure when he throws a pitch, his hamstrings don't snap like a James Hetfield guitar string. I find it hard to believe that anyone outside of NY Skanky fans could give a flying shit what this dude does. And then, there he was today, at the ballpark for the Mariner's/Yankees game, taking over the mic in the 7th(?) inning and announcing that he is once again a "Skankee" to the tune of about 5.5 million per week. Does anyone but Andy Pettite really even like this guy? Boston fans hate him, Houston fans hate him, Met fans DESPISE him, hell, even Skankee fans hated him for awhile. What pisses me off even more, is that I've spent the last 10 minutes typing about him!!! Here's to you Roger. Enjoy your award, put it in the shelf with all your ill-gotten Cy Young's. This dude is a cheater of Barry Bond's proportions. Where are the federal investigators knocking on his door? Where are the books being written about him? (Excuse me again as I bash my head into the nail sticking out of the wall.....)